Bacon, Eggs and God

In Memory Of A True Friend

Your husband or wife should always be your best friend. Victoria is now my best friend. I say that simply because before I met her I had a true friend. And if you go through this life having a best friend before marriage…consider yourself blessed.

True friendship is based on true love. Agreement of opinion, agreement of taste, unity of purpose, frequent companionship, are not enough. These may exist without the binding together of hearts. Love is the essential element of true friendship. “For my friend first, and then for myself,” is the spirit of true friendship. The idea of sacrifice is in true friendship, and sacrifice is in the very nature of love.

Sadly, we often treat relationships as consumers: we befriend others for the benefits we expect to receive. But like a contract, when the relationship doesn’t give us the gains we want, we leave; we simply follow a worldly business methodology and terminate the contract.

Thanks be to God because the Bible shows us that real friendship is more covenantal than contractual. Proverbs 18:24 teaches us…there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. It also warns us about the fickleness of fair-weather friends: Wealth maketh many friends; but the poor is separated from his neighbour. (Proverbs 19:4).

There are friends and friends. Most of our friends are acquaintances, and nothing more. True friendships of the perfect and ideal sort are necessarily rare. By true friends I mean those for whom we have a strong affection, and who have a strong affection for us. A wise man said, “I want my friends to stand by me when I am wrong; other people will stand by me when I am right.” When you have friends of that sort, forsake them not. Keep them close when you have them.

Believers will form their closest friendships with those who share their faith in Christ. Such friends will continue to be our friends in the realms that lie beyond death.

Many of you know that at one time in my life I was the owner of an expedited freight company. As a solo owner/operator I spent the majority of my time on the road which leaves little opportunity to develop meaningful relationships. But God is faithful and has always provided for my needs. Through a Christian friend, who was also an owner/operator, I was asked to answer some questions from another owner/operator he had met out on the road. Enter Miss Diane.

She had questions about a company to whom I had leased my truck before I became an independent owner/operator because she was thinking about leasing her truck to that company. We talked on the phone for hours. Even when we were hundreds or thousands of miles apart we connected. We talked about business, our families, and God.

After my wife walked out of my life, Diane knew that I was hurting inside. It was December and loneliness during the season is a tough burden to bear. My oldest son and his wife tried to help by inviting me to Christmas dinner, because they too knew I was crushed by the events that had occurred. I sat at the dinner table and choked back my tears. Sometimes you just need to be with people your own age and those who have suffered through similar experiences.

As the new year approached Diane offered to meet me halfway between her location and mine. It was a three hour drive for both of us. We each booked rooms in a hotel in Louisville, Kentucky. Upon arrival we went out for a steak dinner. Then back at the hotel we watched the ball drop in Times Square ushering in a new year. After breakfast we checked out, but we didn’t want to say goodbye so we went to a famous local BBQ eatery. After some much needed conversation over coffee, we ordered carryout food for our return trips.

The sacrifice that she made to comfort me in my time of trouble is the mark of a true friend. We continued our conversations throughout the new year. Diane knew I just couldn’t escape the loss of my wife so she asked me if there was time before my marriage when I was truly happy and at peace. Yes, I had spent a few months in the Philippines visiting the children of my step father. It was a revelation.

I sold my business and truck via the internet. At that time I was in Corpus Christie, Texas, but I had to meet the buyer in Ohio to finalize the transaction. The route back to Ohio took me right by the place where Diane sheltered during the winter months. Diane didn’t drive during the winter because she previously had an accident on snow covered roads. When I got to her place she treated me to dinner at her favorite restaurant. The next morning she had to leave to meet her son in Indiana, but left me a key and told me to leave her place when I was ready.

A few months later I boarded a plane headed to the Philippines. We continued to chat via social media. As the years went by we became more distant and our chats were fewer. She continued to work and I was courting Victoria. Life gets busy at times. This is not an excuse, just a fact of life.

Yesterday was Father’s Day. I began to think back over the years. As family events came to my mind, I wondered what was going on in Diane’s life. I did a search on the internet. Sadly, I discovered Diane had passed away last January. There is now an empty hole in my heart. It can only be filled by remembering the laughter and wise counsel of my true friend.

Such friends will continue to be our friends in the realms that lie beyond death. Thank you Diane for being my true friend.