Bacon, Eggs and God

 

Let It Go

The typical, cultural assumption that someone needs to apologize before forgiveness can take place leads those who have been wronged to carry around a painful, emotional burden for a long time, sometimes their whole lives, since most perpetrators have no intention of ever apologizing for what they have done.

What forgiveness does is close an open wound so that you can move on to the next part of your story. Forgiveness is about your relationship with yourself, because you are the one dealing with the painful emotions on a daily basis and you are the one whose life was negatively affected by the failure of someone else to engage in positive dialogue; conversation that could have resolved the issue affecting the relationship.

By waiting on an apology, one that most likely will never come, you are handing over whatever peace of mind remains to the very person who took it from you in the first place. You are enabling this person to control your destiny. Stop waiting for that apology. Forgive the person who has wronged you; forgive them today.

Make it a private affair, there is no need to get in contact with the perpetrator, because if they have not reached out to you then they do not want your forgiveness. But you can confer it and receive all the same emotional benefits that are derived from forgiveness under customary circumstances. Think like Jesus thought when he said, Forgive them father for they know not what they do.

I came to the realization that the person who wronged me did it out of ignorance, out of not being a psychologically or emotionally mature person, since psychologically and emotionally mature people rarely wrong others and when they do they quickly realize it and seek to make amends. Perpetrators of transgressions might consciously believe they know what they are doing, but they do not, because their actions are the result of the failure to self-actualize; therefore, they are rooted in ignorance.

This is why you can forgive the person who wronged you without waiting for an apology. An apology comes from insight and the perpetrator has already betrayed a fundamental lack of insight. Do not waste any more of your life waiting for something that is never going to come. Relinquish those painful emotions. Forgive the person who has wronged you today and get back to the business of your own growth and self-actualization.

And the moment I forgave the person that wronged me, my relationships improved with all of those in my life today.